


Something great

by Eilisande



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode IV : A New Hope
Genre: A new hope characters cameo, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Established Relationship, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-01-16 11:29:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21270323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eilisande/pseuds/Eilisande
Summary: They survived Scarif and the Death Star, but at what cost? Injured, with next to no chance to survive or recover, the Rogue One's members are nailed to the infirmary while the Rebellion actively searches for the Death Star plans. They can only wait and hope while trying to learn more about each other. What do you do with your life when you never thought you would survive?





	1. Survive

**Author's Note:**

> The first part of a two-part translation of one of my texts. Enjoy your reading !

They were not going to survive, Jyn thought as she fell onto Scarif's fine sand. She admitted it easily. Already, the wave of death and devastation could be seen on the horizon. At this moment, she was happy that her father was already gone. He would have died of sorrow if he had known that his creation had killed his daughter. The young woman suddenly understood that her father had died in peace, despite his injuries, because he had seen her and knew that his message had been heard. Jyn was ready to die too. She had regrets (so much that she could have done, that she should have said) but she knew that what she had done here on Scarif was good. She had done well, perhaps for the first time in her life. She held Cassian, strangely serene. He returned her embrace and they silently stared at the wave of debris that was going to submerge them. Already the dust drowned them in a sinister fog. They could not see the sea or the sky anymore. They were in the middle of the devastation and it was the last landscape they would ever see.

The noise was already so loud that they nearly didn't hear the engine sound above their heads. The two rebels straightened at the same moment and hope sprang back into their hearts, in spite of themselves. The Imperials were not the kind of people to look for survivors in the middle of their flight. It was the rebellion.

They didn't know how, but they found the strength to straighten up and scream to be spotted. The dust they swallowed made them cough, forcing them to only make large gestures. Fortunately, it was enough. A small black shuttle hovered just above the ground at a short distance. They ran, terrified and in agony, supporting one another. Jyn stumbled into the sand, a few feet away from the shuttle, and Cassian fell with her, screaming to death. They were already exhausted and the wind was getting stronger and carried dangerous debris. They could not get up. They had to crawl and cling to the loading ramp to get on board. Jyn barely managed to do it, but Cassian was running out of strengh. His hands couldn't grasp the metal railing and he couldn't push the rest of his body over it. Big hands finally grabbed his shoulders and lifted him on board. Baze was covered with blood and burns, but he still found the strength to push a button to raise the ramp. He yelled at the pilot to clear off and only then he allowed himself to faint, sliding slowly along the metal wall.

_Bodhi_, mentally prayed Jyn, _let the pilot be Bodhi_, but all her energy was gone. She wanted to move to check but her legs were shaking too much to do it. She closed her eyes and sank into unconsciousness, just after Cassian.

The shuttle sheered but it did not manage to pull them from their deathlike sleep, even though they were propelled from one end of the cabin to the other. It took one of those strident sirens that the empire loved so much to get Cassian out of his torpor. He refused to listen to his body begging him to stay still and pull himself up to look around him. Jyn lay inanimate, her face cover with blood. She wasn't like that when they boarded. He himself felt a monumental bump rise behind his head, thanks to the barrels made by the shuttle during his unconsciousness. Baze was just as still as Jyn and rested in his own blood, perhaps dead. Only one passenger had been spared the wounds and bumps of the take-off and it was Chirrut. Baze had seated and tied him before their escape from Scarif, but he did not look any better than his companion. His face was covered in dried blood and both men smelled of burnt flesh and blood. In a corner rested the carcass of K2. Cassian could not even imagine how he had managed to leave the tower with the holes in his steel thorax.   
All needed urgent help. Cassian would have liked to have the time and energy to search for a rescue kit. He could not even afford the time to check that they were still breathing. It was much more urgent to deal with this alarm. Reluctantly, the captain left them to limp toward the ladder and get up into the cockpit. His left leg was threatening to collapse under him at every step. Each inspiration became painful with his broken ribs. He had one broken, maybe two. It wasn't important now.   
The cabin too smelled of blood and burned flesh. Cassian did not know what happened on Scarif's beach while Jyn, K2 and he were investing the tower, but it was probably a miracle if their companions were still alive. If they were. The captain found Bodhi Rook half-collapsed on the controls. His tattered jacket clung to his bloody back. Through the shuttle's window, Cassian could see a planet he was familiar with. The good news was that Hoth was uninhabited and imperials never went there. The Alliance was thinking of setting up a base there one day or another. Unfortunately, they were very far from Yavin IV and there was currently no rebel presence on Hoth.

Hearing Cassian entering the cabin, the pilot raised his head.

"Make a leap to the blind," he explained in a pasty voice. "No more propulsion, the engines are dead. And there was damage on the takeoff, maybe cracks in the durasteel. Don't know if we have much air left. We need help, quickly."

The communications were on the co-pilot's side, too far for Bodhi to reach them without getting up. He probably did not have the strength, hence the alarm. Cassian stepped forward and collapsed, moaning, on the chair while Bodhi deactivated the alarm. He was not familiar with this type of ship and questioned Bodhi. With one hand, the pilot pointed to the commands to be activated successively. Cassian could see a bone protruding through the wounds and blisters of his hand. Cassian left this problem aside and concentrated on entering his Alliance passcodes.

At first, no one answered him. Cassian tried not to panic. All lines must be occupied because of the Battle of Scarif. Fortunately, he had another code, a priority one. He was supposed to use it only for vital and urgent strategic news, but after what they had done for the rebellion, without being sure of being followed and helped, Cassian found that Rogue One was a vital and urgent problem for the rebellion. They deserved the help. He typed the second code.

This time, a slight sizzle echoed through the room. Cassian grabbed the microphone, shaking, and recited his identification codes.

"This is Rogue One," he explained next. "We need urgent help, many injured, transport unusable. We are in stationary orbit above Hoth. I repeat, we need urgent help."  
As a precaution, he repeated the message twice and at last heard a very weak "receive" above static noise. Relieved, he dropped back into the chair and sank into unconsciousness again, knowing that he would not come out of it again. That was the end for him. All he could hope was that his call had been sent in time to save at least one of his companions.

If the Force was real, it owed it to them.

Chirrut is the first to wake up, briefly, when someone put his bruised body on a stretcher. Around him, everything becomes a frenzy but the Guardian is at peace. He feels the Force all around him and the presence of his friends. It's with a smile that he lets himself go again.

Baze is woken up in medical transport by an immense pain in his arm and shoulder. He hears a high-pitched sound in his ears and not much else. He cannot open his eyes. Too much blood stuck to his eyelids. Two pairs of arms hold him down and he thinks that's it, the empire found them and begins to torture them as it tortured his brothers, as it tortured Chirrut. They will break him this time, and Jyn and Cassian and annihilate what remains of Bodhi. Baze screams and struggles but is firmly held in place by his shoulders. He knocks with his head and hears a painful crunch. He broke the nose of one of his torturers at least. Someone screams to increase the dose. Soon, Baze is motionless again and the doctors go back to their painful task.

Cassian does not have this chance. The Alliance requires a report on the events of Scarif, their information on the battle being at best fragmented. Doctors have dozens of questions to ask about the causes of each team member's injuries. When Cassian awakes during the transport, they begin to question him. He receives just enough analgesics to keep the pain at a distance and has to bear the sight of the wounds of others. He will never forget Baze's screams. He ends the trip in confusion, too dazed by pain and medicine to understand what Mon Mothma is telling him when she shakes his hand just after landing. When he is pushed into the infirmary and sees the bacta tanks, he bursts into tears.

Bodhi is kept severely sedated during most of the trip but the medical team underestimated the amount of equipment they needed to take care of Rogue One. Reluctantly, the doctors gradually lower the sedative dose of each patient before arrival. The shock of the landing awakens Bodhi. He stammers "I am the pilot" in a loop until a doctor sedates him at the entrance of the operating room.

Jyn does not wakes up.

The base infirmary is in turmoil as soon as the rescue ship lands. The Alliance has urgently assembled some of its best doctors usually The infirmary at the base is in turmoil as soon as the rescue ship lands. The Alliance has urgently reunited some of its best doctors scattered usually in secret bases in the four corners of the galaxy. Usually, bacta, dressings and medicine are severely rationed, because they never know if they'll be reprovisioned, but this time the Alliance is generous with its resources. She needs heroes too much.

Even so, it is almost too late for the five survivors of Scarif when they are brought into the infirmary. Twenty hours pass, twenty hours of operations and long baths of bacta before a doctor announced to the council of the Alliance they have a chance to survive. The board almost congratulates itself, as if its members were themselves responsible for the survival of Rogue One. They already speak of rewards, medals, and ask themselves if their action may convince some reluctant people to join the Alliance. The doctor then adds with blatant disregard for their politic that they should not already be thinking to exhibit these heroes on a podium. They are not awake and there is no guarantee that they will be able to fully recover. There are too many possible complications.

Cassian is finally the first to open his eyes in the sickbay, a few hours after coming out of the bacta tank for the second time. It seems to him that his body is only sores and wounds. Every breath is painful. He tries to move to reawaken his sore muscles but stops when he realizes the pain that causes in his left leg. In disbelief, he realizes that all this pain means he is alive and safe. It's early morning on Yavin IV but when they see him move, all the medical staff run toward him. The chief doctor, a middle-aged twi'lek ends up chasing her subordinates to check on him in silence. Cassian lets her do her job, not awake enough to protest. Besides, he knows Dr. Nankusa well enough to know that it's useless to try to escape her complete diagnosis and that he will have no answer before she's done.

Internally, his blood boils with impatience. His condition doesn't matter to him, all he wants to know is if his brothers in arms are alive.

"How are you feeling?" ask the doctor when she's done.

"I've seen worse", he admits, "but not much."

"I imagine. Three broken ribs, some burns related to blaster impacts, a slight head injury and a lung perforation... The list is long. I read your statement right after you were rescued. You were hit by blaster fire and dropped five to ten meters below? You are lucky to have survived this fall."

He nods. He can't believe it himself. By all means, he should be dead. 

"My comrades?" He finally ask.

"In the same state, more or less", eludes the doctor. "This is not the subject for the moment, I'm not done with you yet. You're on bed rest, captain. I see you get up or try to make the slightest movement that I did not allow and I tie you up in your bed in isolation. Your only concern must be your recovery. Do not try to get news from outside. The only information that will come to you will be those that I would judge without risk to your health."

"I doubt very much that my superiors agree to..."

"They will stand far away if they don't want to recover their heroes in coffins."

Her harsh tone convinces Cassian of the seriousness of his condition. He lets himself be examined from every angle by a dozen different doctors. He answers all questions about the mission, even though he can only explain the causes of Jyn's wounds and his own. He does not ask any questions even if they burn his tongue. Where are the plans, how is Jyn, where is K2, did we find the default in the Death Star, how are Baze and Chirrut, how is Bodhi, where are the plans, who else survived, who died, where are the plans... Instead, he listens to the doctors telling him that his perforated lung has caused a pneumothorax that was taken on in time but that he will have to be very careful in the coming weeks with his broken ribs to not make the situation worse. Finally, two nurses plan bacta bath sessions, rehabilitation for his knee and he is told ten times that he is lucky to be alive. Ten times he nods without saying anything. The eleventh time he loses his temper. 

"I know that I should have died there and that I probably will not fully recover from my injuries. Do you think this is the first time I've been injured in combat? But it's out of the question for me to do anything else before I see the others.

This diatribe leaves him exhausted, his breath short. His chest hurts as if he had been stabbed. Maybe he underestimated his condition if he's feeling so bad just because he slightly raised his voice. His nurses, a zabrak and a human, hesitate but a doctor calls them from the other end of the room.

"These are his men, of course he was going to demand to see them, what were you expecting? Let him do it, so we can start his treatment!"

They are not his men. If they are someone's men, they are Jyn's men. She's the one who gathered them around her cause, but that does not concern these people. Cassian does not protest, relieved to see his wish granted. Delicatly, the nurses help him sitting up in his bed. He holds a groan of pain because they could still decide his condition is too bad to let him see the rest of the team. Finally, he is rolled to Chirrut's bed, the closest.

The man is too pale. He has been intubated and is covered with bacta patches and bandages on his arms. The most painful thing to see is the empty space below his left knee.  
"A blood clot," says the doctor, without elaborating. The next time you go on a suicide mission, humor me and take a doctor with you."

That's the opposite of the principle of a suicide mission. Moreover, the Alliance already lacks doctors. She's not going to waste them on the ground. Cassian does not even try to explain that to him. He merely nods and asks to see the others.

Jyn is lying a little further, even paler than Chirrut if possible, but she does not look seriously hurt. Her shoulder is covered with bandages and a huge purple hematoma spreads over her head.  
"She's fine," the zabrak murmurs quickly. "We're just waiting for her to wake up. It should happen any moment now."

It's hard to lie to a spy. The nurse's words reveal more than he thinks. Jyn should already have woken up. Her injuries are insignificant compared to the rest of the team. There is a problem, but, deliberately, the nurses pass very quickly to prevent Cassian from asking too many questions. They do not really have answers to give him, so he let them do it. 

Baze, on the other side of the room, looks as bad as Chirrut, although Cassian did not see the extent of the wounds of either man. Apart from his eyes, his mouth and his chin, his whole face is covered with bandages. His left arm's stump rests above his blanket. Then, Cassian sees Bodhi. The man offers a pitiful show in the next room. He is still in a bacta tank, his face turned to the other side of the room. His back and arms are a huge open wound, covered with burns and cuts. Cassian smells his burning flesh again, like in the ship. It's obvious all three men were too close when a grenade went off. He closes his eyes, he doesn't want to see the rest, especially not Bodhi's hands and lets the nurse roll him in silence to his place.

The two nurses unroll the curtains to give the captain a little privacy. As soon as he's alone, Cassian begins to sob in silence. Why have they survived if that's the price to pay? Why them and not the others? He should have better prepare the mission. Surely he could have convinced more people and ... He lets out a disillusioned laugh. Finding more volunteers would only have increased the death toll. He closes his eyes and forces himself to put all this behind him, as he does after each mission. Nothing has changed in the end. He's disgusted with himself and gags. By reflex, he stands up and vomits on the floor. The pain in his chest quickly becomes unbearable and he nearly falls to the ground.

The zabrak nurse, who stayed on the other side of the curtain, rushes to give him a basin and helps him to get up. Cassian can only thanks him with his eyes, too busy throwing up and then catching his breath. There is blood in his mouth and on the floor. Dr. Nankusa runs to check the condition of his ribs when the zabrak sees the blood and calls for help. After helping him lie down, she shakes her lekku in a way which indicates her annoyance and sighs.

"Well, we'll have to put you in the bacta tank sooner than expected, but it could have been worse. Of course, ''it could have been worse'' pretty much sums up your overall condition anyway. Do you want the details? The five of you have three limbs missing, a dozen broken bones, first, second and third degree burns, a muscle tear, a pierced lung, and three cranial trauma. The last time I saw so many injuries on so few people, we had just released an Imperial prison camp. And I will tell you what I said to these survivors. You will all get better because you and I are too stubborn to let it go any other way."

"Even Jyn? The woman, she's not badly hurt. Why is she still unconscious?"

"Cranial trauma. She will wake up, but we can't tell when and in what condition. We don't have the material to do brain scans. I asked for that many times, but it's not at the top of the list of basic necessities."

"And Chirrut? Why is he intubated?"

"We think he was too close from an explosion and was violently pushed on the ground. This caused an hemothorax - an effusion of blood in the rib cage - and he had to be intubated as a precaution to restore good oxygenation in his body. It should be removed in a few hours, he's recovering at a good pace according to our last observations."

"And K2? A droid, he was in the shuttle with us."

"I did not hear about a droid, but we do not handle this kind of problem here. I'll inquire at the first opportunity. Something else?"

Cassian hesitates before thinking of something else. He remembers something happened in the rescue ship. There were shouts and threats from Baze.

"Baze and Chirrut, the two jedhans, can you bring them closer to each other? If Baze wakes up without being able to determine Chirrut's health... I fear his reaction."

"He's the one who broke the doctor's nose when he was trying to see if we could still save his arm or must amputate it? It may be better to bring them closer yes. But I will also tie him up and keep something to calm him down at hand."

That advice came at the right time and not a minute too soon. A few minutes after the nurses moved the beds, while Cassian finishes the abject oatmeal which is the only food that they allow him to eat now, a grunt signals that Baze is wakening up. Like Cassian, this is not the first time he woke up in an infirmary. Even before he opens his eyes, he recognizes familiar noises and, for the first few seconds, he thinks he is on Jeddha's temple. He expects to open his eyes to see Chirrut smiling at his side, amused and exasperated at the same time. Then, suddenly, he remembers. NiJedha is dead. He also remembers explosions and screams in the dark (his own or Chirrut's?).

"He wakes up."

"Good. Maybe we'll get answers."

Baze is one of the survivors of his order, eradicated by the Empire in the first months of its existence. He was a mercenary and murderer in the years that followed. He know it's never good to hear these words. They usually mean interrogation and torture. Baze reacts to thoses words. He opens his eyes, stands up and raises his right arm to hit the man at his bedside while already planning the rest. Knock him out, take his weapon, take care of the other man on the other side of the bed, finish them to prevent them from raising the alarm, find Chirrut, find the others, flee. His plan fails when his gesture is stopped by the straps on the chest that nail him in bed and especially by a terrifying finding.

His arm is no longer there.

"Your friend is on the other side," the doctor informs him kindly without seeming disturbed by his violence.

Without worrying more about him, Baze turns around. Chirrut is here, yes. Injured, unconscious but alive and for the first time in a long, long time, Baze thanks the Force.

"I will detach you and you will be able to slowly stand up," continues the doctor. "We'll bring your bed closer to his when I've examined you. Your captain is already awake by the way."

Baze sneers. Cassian isn't his captain, if he belongs to someone it's Chirrut and really, these people have not seen how Cassian Andor looks at Jyn if they believe that he is the one who runs their group. It wasn't his vision that gave life to Rogue One. Baze doesn't argue but salute the rebel captain who watches the scene from his bed at the other end of the room. The man is in a bad state, with his labored breathing and livid complexion, but he will survive. On the other side of the room, he sees Jyn on a bed and Bodhi in a bacta tank, but his eyes are constantly coming back to Chirrut. He is too pale and scarred to his liking. The absence of a limb under the covers is blatant but unimportant. He is breathing normally. That's all that matter.

Knowing that he has no way of avoiding it, Baze lets the staff of the infirmary examine him and make the usual recommendations for a good hour. Take care, avoid sudden movements, do not touch his bandages for fear of scarring ... He hardly listens to them. He knows the seriousness of his injuries. His face burns under the bacta dressings, his missing arm itches, he has buzzing in his left ear that makes it hard to concentrate. His right leg itches, he's told it's broken and he has a splint to help it's consolidation. Whatever. In any case, he will not respect their orders. As soon as he feels that his body is in condition, he will get up and start the training again. He has never let an injury stop him and he will not start at his age. After all, he must protect Chirrut.

And then, he sees the hideous reality. He's missing an arm and there is no guarantee that the Rebel Alliance is ready to pay for a prosthesis. He was more than fifty, his joints ache and his reflexes aren't getting better, even if he refuses to recognize it aloud. More, the empire will sooner or later chase Rogue One members, so finding mercenary contracts to pay for a prosthesis may be almost impossible in the short term. How long before he can't feed Chirrut anymore?

"You must learn to stop worrying, my friend. The Force will provide for everything."

Baze can't tell how relieved he is to hear this calm and gentle voice. He only wants one thing, to rush to take Chirrut in his arms, but neither of them likes public demonstrations of affection. What they feel is just for them. So, he only grunts and it's not quite an assent.

"Well, for the love of the Force," he adds gruffly, "I beg you to not pretend to those doctors that you just discover your blindness, otherwise I get out of this bed and I finishes the empire's work."  
Normally, when they have that kind of discussion in a hospital, that's when Chirrut laughs softly and begins to seduce the medical staff and minimize his injuries. But this time, he is strangely serious and silent.

"Baze?" Chirrut asks softly. "Why are you so quiet?"

Blood runs cold in Baze and Cassian's veins. Nobody dares to say a word in the room. Slowly Chirrut moves a shaky hand to hit his temple twice, right beside his ear. His eyes widen. Until then, he had been too numbed by the drugs to realize that he did not hear the sound of his own voice.

"I'm deaf then," he whispers in a firm voice.

Baze admires him for it even if he wants to cry.

"Not necessarily," answers a doctor, beginning to examine his ears, more for Baze and Cassian's benefits than for Chirrut's. It may be temporary deafness linked to the explosion. You've both been caught in an explosion, yes?"

"Two", answers Baze before confessing "I have buzzing in my left ear and the sounds are a bit muffled."

"Then we'll look at it more closely."

The medical team turns around the three men, giving them medical care. That leaves them little time to talk. One by one, they are taken away for longs and careful medical exams before being brought back to the bacta tanks for a few hours immersion. Baze and Chirrut barely have time to brush their fingers before being separated again and plunged into the bacta. In the tank, the patient is not always asleep, especially if he comes out of prolonged unconsciousness. And even if it's almost relaxing to be there because of the lack of pain, it's boring. 

Chirrut meditates. He never had so much trouble to do it, even after the Jedi's fall and the destruction of NiJedha's temple. His blindness paradoxically helped him to apprehend the Force in a way he couldn't even imagine, and he knows it was a test sent to him to prepare. But prepare for what? In recent days, he has convinced herself that the Force was shaping him for Jyn's mission and he foresaw his death. He was ready. So why did he survive? To which destiny does the Force lead him? His heart misses a beat. Is this a test of the Force, never to hear Baze again, to have only his touch and smell? Could it be so cruel? Chirrut inspires and expires but hears only the silence. Impossible to concentrate.

Baze tries to meditate, for the first time in years. He cannot do it, but he was never very good at it, even when he was a Guardian. His worry and guilt are too strong, even if he knows he shouldn't feel guilt. He could not save Chirrut from himself.

He replays the scene in his mind, again and again. He sees Chirrut turning towards him, with that little smile, as if Baze's lack of faith amused him. He hears the blow that thrust Chirrut to the ground while he remained frozen in horror. He ran faster than he thinks he could. He had turned Chirrut on his back, expecting to see him dead or dying. Chirrut looked amazed too that the shot had only brushed him. His tunic was sticky with blood. Then, a second explosion made them fly a few meters away. Shrapnel had pierced his arm. Baze had ripped it off and summarily dressed the wound to seize his weapon and defend their lives even though he knew the outcome would be the same. Then, Bodhi had emerged in a different ship than the one they had landed with. He had fired on the stormtroopers and landed. Baze had grabbed Chirrut in his arms, aggravating his wounds to the point of tearing a muscle. Once they were on the ship, he had secured Chirrut who had fainted and rushed into the cockpit to help the pilot.

In the end, he is not surprised to have lost his arm, just astonished he lost only that. They were here only because of a series of miracles. Of course, Chirrut would call that the will of the Force. For the first time in years, Baze wonders if he is right. But is he ready to believe again?

Cassian hates the bacta tank above all. Yes, his knee doesn't hurt for now, and the pain is gone, even if he must be careful with his chest. However, Cassian has always found those tanks oppressive. There is nothing to do but think and he does not want to think about the past, the present or the future. He was so prepared to die on Scarif that he cannot imagine a future. The mere idea of becoming that man once again, the lonely and relentless spy, is chilling. He can't. Before six months, someone will use his lack of attention to kill him. Or he'll shoot himself in the head. Only his devotion to the cause has stopped him so far. His life, or death, is linked to one question. Does Rogue One have a future as a team? Maybe, if the others want that. And even so, an approval from above would be needed. Cassian forces himself to stop thinking about it. He does not want to think about the future because, for the first time since his childhood, he begins to dream of having one. He opens his eyes. Through the thickness of the bacta and the glass, he sees Jyn lying a few meters from him, still asleep. He can't look away.

When they leave the tanks, the three men are so tired that they instantly fall asleep on their beds.

When they wake up, they feel fresh and alert like never before, despite their wounds. After all, it's their first full night of sleep in a long time. Someone was kind enough to put them next to each other. Maybe it was to help their care or to make the next days more bearable for them. The first thought of the three men is for Jyn and Bodhi. The first is still unconscious. Bodhi has been removed from the tank and lies in a bed on the other side of the room.

"He woke up just after dawn, says a nurse while she changes Cassian's dressings. He was half-delirious and incoherent. My colleagues gave him a mild sedative. See you awake will do him a lot of good."

That's all they hope for, but Baze and Cassian exchange a dubious look.

"His mental state seemed to improve after our arrival on Yavin", Cassian notes once they are alone. "But I'm not sure it's definitive."

"Already met victims of torture?"

"I have already found myself in front of an imperial interrogation probe."

Cassian omits to mention that he was also once or twice the one holding the torture instrument. The things he did for the Resistance...

"I have seen things too, as a mercenary and as an assassin", recognizes Baze without complex. "I have never seen anything like that."

"I would talk to the doctor Nankusa to know what to expect, but we should have little expectations. The Alliance has always been short of medical staff and particularly in the psychiatric field."  
"Jyn knows something I think. I've seen her look Bodhi in a funny way, once or twice. Chirrut thinks so too. He said that she felt guilty when she looked at Bodhi. Anger and repugnance too."  
Cassian swears silently. He's a poor excuse of a spy if he missed that, no matter what effect Jyn has on him. He hopes Baze and Chirrut are right and Jyn knows something. Bodhi is the only surviving witness of his own torture. Questioning him about that could help him or make the situation worse. Cassian doesn't want to make that kind of gambit.

"We'll help, he concludes. We'll help them, whatever happens."

They turn toward Chirrut, lying in his bed, motionless. It's almost impossible to tell whether he is sleeping or meditating except that the wrinkles on his forehead betray his concern. Baze's heart tightens to see him like that without any means to assure him of his love.

"He'll get better," Cassian says, clumsily. 

How do you reassure a man who is twice your age?

"He's not the kind of man to be taken down that easily, is he?"

"Sometimes, I'd like him to be. This old fool will end up dead if he keeps refusing to keep a low profile."

Anxiety and affection are evident in his voice. Cassian understands now what he had no time to see during their desperate hunt for the Death Star's plans. These two are not brothers in arms, or not only. There is a story behind Baze's silence. Talking about it could temporarily distract him, and indiscretion is the core of Cassian's being.

"Have you two been together for a long time?"

The old warrior hesitates to answer. He loves to keep his intimacy, but Cassian is their brother and has saved their lives. Someone else would have abandoned them on Jedha. And the young man is so obvious with all his glances toward Jyn that Baze can be honest for a moment.  
"Eight years, more or less."

"Since the occupation of Jedha ?," calculates Cassian.

"And the fall of the temple. The Guardians were celibate. The Empire at least have freed us from those shackles. As if Chirrut couldn't be the best of the Guardians even he was in a relationship. But he wanted to respect these rules, and I waited. As always. Forty years to endure his impetuosity."  
"My condolences," Cassian laughs. 

"Wait until he puts his hand on a cane or a prosthesis," Baze threatens, "and I guarantee you'll have to run after him too. I dropped my guard for five minutes and look where I am."

They're quiet again, brought back to their harsh reality. Neither of them is hungry, but they need the strength to move. Cassian and Baze eat their lunch in silence. 

Chirrut is the only one who doesn't eat. He's desperate to regain his mental balance. He hates that persistent silence. He remembers the early days of his blindness, just after the Empire. Baze's voice helped him as much as the Force to give him something to focus on. This time he can barely sense them. It should not be so hard. If at least he could be sure of Baze's health, of all his comrades, he would be better. He focuses on their presence. It helps him to meditate, and finally, he finds the strength to smile. 

That smile reassures Baze. It's good for his appetite, and he's about to finish his meal when the doctor Nankusa returns to the room. In her hands, she holds a datapad that she studies carefully. 

"I like the way your wounds are evolving, especially for you," she finally says as she approached Baze's bed between the other two. "Let me see that in detail."

She makes him sit down and auscultates him before nodding, satisfied.  
"As I was saying, it's quite good. There's no infection in the arm, and your other wounds gradually heal. You're done with bacta baths, but it is still too early to remove these bandages on your face. Also, we noticed your left eardrum was slightly pierced in the explosion. Bacta has partly resorbed it, but you've been programmed an intervention later to finish correcting the problem. Please stand up."

Standing, even on one foot, after all these days on a bed is a relief. Even if his legs are slightly shaking, Baze refuses the doctor's hand. He smiles triumphantly when he finally stands upright and steady on his feet. He could nearly ignore the pain in his leg. Nankusa smiles back.

"I would say that I found myself an assistant."

The sentence does not make any sense until the twi'lek gently helps him to Chirrut's bed.

Lost in the darkness and silence, Chirrut immediately recognizes Baze's callous hand when it lands on his shoulder. He also recognizes the hands that gently grip him by the wrists after removing his blankets. They're so cool they can only belong to the Twi'lek doctor. Baze's hand comes down on his shoulder to help him into a sitting position while the twi'lek pulls. It's nice that there is no pressure on his back's wounds. Then, they help him pass his leg to the side of the bed. The doctor puts her fingers over his other knee but hesitates to go down.

"I know about my amputated leg," reassures Chirrut who articulates carefully every word he doesn't hear. "My back is full of burns, I feel one, maybe two, broken ribs and of course, there is this problem with my hearing. Do I forget something?"

Baze's hand tenses angrily on Chirrut's shoulder. He has temporarily forgotten his back's injuries, but the monk couldn't blame him. Chirrut knows that Baze's anger is directed against himself.  
"We should thank the Force to be alive," he admonishes. "What we have lost shouldn't be enough to defeat us. By the way, would you have forgotten an arm or a hand on the battlefield?"

Baze reprimands him with a pat on the forearm this time, always with the same hand, which confirms his suspicions. Then, the hand freezes on his arm, and he hugs him hard. Now, their shoulders are touching, and Chirrut can feel Baze's anguish. Still, he refuses to worry. He is one with the Force.

He feels Baze's heart, beating so strong it could be exploding with joy. It's not often that Baze hugs him without worrying about people nearby. Chirrut bursts out laughing. He's sure he'll hear someday, maybe not much, but he will hear. He'll be able to continue to fight against the Empire. The Force still has plans for him and Baze, and he senses that he will be glorious. His hands look for Baze's face. He notes the bandages in passing and ignores them to kiss him vehemently.  
Baze's amazement makes the kiss even better. Chirrut would like to make it last forever.  
Baze couldn't stop Chirrut. He's too busy hugging him and thanking the Force and the destiny. When Baze let go of him, it's only to help Chirrut lie down again so that he could be taken to the operation that will save some of his hearing. Then, it will be Baze's turn.

Cassian remains alone. His knee and ribs do not allow him to get up yet, said the doctor Nankusa. He still needs at least two baths of bacta to sufficiently consolidate his bones and an operation to insert a prosthesis into his knee so that he can walk again. The hours pass after the departure of Baze and Chirrut, and Cassian finds it's hard to support being in the infirmary that long. He sleeps an hour or two and then starts to get bored. Eventually, he starts harassing the nurses who come into the room to demand news of K2 and to try to get news from outside. He makes it harder and harder for them to not answer his questions. Finally, they begin to avoid him and stay as far as possible from him. Cassian feels the tension in the room and quickly notices the way they look at the door as if waiting for bad news to drop. Already, he can feel the clouds gathering over the Alliance. Something went wrong after the battle of Scarif. Everyone is anxious, and it increases from hour to hour. If it were not for his knee, Cassian would force a passage out of the infirmary.

A noise halfway between a sigh and a groan distracts him from his thoughts. Nurses rush to the other side of the room. Cassian rises as much as possible on his bed, without any concern for his ribs.  
Jyn opens her eyes and makes eye contact with him. In all her life, she had never felt so bad, physically at least, even when she was living with Shaw. Her head hurt so much that she sees red lights on the edge of her vision when she moves it. She stares a fixed point in front of her bed, to avoid the ceiling lights. Relief invades her. Cassian is alive. He looks at her like on Scarif's beach, as if he could not believe the miracle of her presence. She's sure that her face says the same thing. She can't believe they're alive, she must touch him to be sure. She has so much to say to him, to ask him... Someone next to her declares happily and much too loud that it's fantastic that she is awake and that she has been unconscious for five days. She immediately forgets Cassian.

"The plans?" She asks with a hoarse voice.

Cassian's eyes go softer. He's about to say something to her, but a nurse cuts him in a voice that is still too loud for Jyn's taste.

"It doesn't matter for now. It's necessary that..."

She interrupts and grabs his hand as he bends over to examine her.

"You will do absolutely nothing until I know where the plans are and if the Alliance is decoding them."

She meets Cassian's gaze again and sees in it a reflection of her own anxiety.

"I'll take it from here."

Mon Mothma stands at the entrance to the room, her face austere and closed. She is closely followed by an angry doctor Nankusa.

"These are my patients," she protests. "They must heal before..."

"They will eventually hear it. It's better that they learn it now and not because of someone's negligence."  
She turns to Cassian and Jyn, making sure that they are in condition to cope with what she has to say to them.

"There's no right way to announce it ... The ship carrying the plans disappeared three days ago. We know they were pursued by Darth Vader's ship. We first hoped that they escaped and kept a low profile before coming back to us, but Princess Leia Organa was on board, and we have no news of Alderande for twenty-four hours. It's impossible to reach anyone anywhere on the planet."


	2. And live

Alderande is no more. 

The news leaves them devastated and they don't realize Mon Mothma's departure. How many billions of people on Alderande? How many families wiped out? Jyn curls up in her bed. She doesn't care about hurting her shoulder or her foot. She wants to be dead. How could she be alive when her father's weapon killed millions of children? She'd like the infirmary's unbearable noise and light to disappear. The others leave her to her pain, fortunately. She's not ready to endure the rebels' anger or compassion.

Cassian froze at Mon Mothma's speech. He only goes out of his torpor to explain the situation to Baze and Chirrut when they wake up after their operation. Baze almost has to shout to repeat Cassian's words so Chirrut can hear them. To Chirrut, each sound seems to come from far away, but he doesn't complain. Every word from Cassian and Baze makes Jyn blench and curl up under her blanket. After that, they all remain silent except for Chirrut who repeats in loops "I am one with the Force, the Force is only one with me" in a broken voice. He would have preferred to know nothing, to hear nothing.

"Is that what you felt?", he whispers to Baze, who's sitting next to him. "The day you lost your faith?"

Baze doesn't know how to answer. Seeing his companion go through the same inner torments that he went is more painful than he would have thought. He can only offer him the comfort of his hand on his arm. Chirrut lets him do for a while then gently pushes him away.  
"There are others who also need comfort, my friend. Don't give up on them."

Cassian and Jyn's eyes are wide open, seeing a terrifying world. Baze has already experienced this. He looks at Jyn's hunched form.

"We can't save them little sister, but we can avenge them."

Jyn clings desperately to his arm and bursts into silent sobs. Baze lets her cry. He tries to remember the words of comfort he offered to temple novices, but it was too long ago, and he isn't that man anymore.

"My mother had faith", Jyn recalls when her tears are gone. "I don't remember much about it. I was still small when the man in white killed her. She believed in the Force and gave me her crystal just before she died. That's all I have of her now. She always said she had faith in the Force. It would be nice to believe she was right."

"Me too little sister. Me too."

"How did you lose faith?"

"The day Chirrut lost his sight. If the Force existed, it would not have allowed the Empire to destroy its temple and the best of our order to undergo what the Empire did to us."

He refuses to say more and Jyn just nods.

"You were the best of the order", Chirrut says.

He did not insist, and Baze is thankful to him. Jyn is calm now, so he seizes her fingers and unties them from his tunic. He peeks at Cassian. The man trembles and is bathed in cold sweat but would probably not take a gesture from Baze very well. Instead, Bazes go to a nurse and demands that Cassian and Jyn's beds be brought together. The man rolls his eyes at that new change, but he obeys. If he's whispering that Rogue One is the most co-dependent team he's ever seen, it's too low to be heard. The two beds are glued together, like Baze and Chirrut's are now. The two young people hug despairingly trying to comfort each other. Satisfied, Baze returns to his place near Chirrut.  
  
Silence sets in again for a long and painful time. Then, the doors of the infirmary open suddenly. Two men, a woman and a Wookie enter, followed by a band of doctors.  
"Let's finish as soon as possible", declares the young woman in a determined voice. "I have better things to do than undergo medical exams."

"Princess Leia, after what you've been through..."

"I have survived so far. I wouldn't let myself be locked in here while we decode the plans."

At these words from the princess, the four members of Rogue One straighten up. Their eyes are fixed on the princess. Only Chirrut looks elsewhere, captivated by one of her companions. The princess finally notices these looks and annoyingly disperses the doctors around her. When she sees Jyn, her eyes widen, and she comes closer.

"You are Jyn Erso? Galen Erso's daughter?"

Jyn says yes then looks away, ashamed. The woman standing in front of her lost everything because of her family. Jyn can't find anything to say and is taken by surprise when Leia grabs her hand and presses it.

"Thank you. These dogs of Vader and Tarkin may have prevented me from bringing the plans of the Death Star early enough to prevent it from being used a third time, but it is thanks to you that Alderande will be avenged."

"It's what my father would have wanted", tries to explain Jyn, throat tight, before being cut off by emotion.

The princess shakes her hand one last time and lets herself be dragged away by the doctors in another room. It suddenly seems tiny and fragile.

A medic takes upon him to explain to Rogue One how the plans arrived at the base. Joy and horror compete for first place in their hearts when they understand that the Death Star is coming and a race against time has started. The Alliance lost too many forces in the Battle of Scarif. It is impossible to evacuate, everything will end here, one way or another. The nurse is just finishing his explanation when the princess and her escort leave. Besides a few bacta patches, they seem perfectly healthy. The princess's eyes are reddened, but everyone pretends to ignore it.  
"Can we help, your highness?" Asks Cassian.

"You'll help when you are better. I was told of what you've accomplished. If we find the Death Star's flaw in time, you will have helped save thousands of planets. You have done enough."

Praise bothers them more than anything else. If there is one thing they all agree on, it is that Rogue One has done what was necessary. They clumsily thank the princess and watch her leave with her companions.

The medical team disperses, the doctors shouting orders. An air battle is about to happen, they have to make room for the inevitable wounded. The five members of Rogue One are now a bother in the room. 

They're moved to a reserve big enough for all of them but still small, poorly lit and crowded. As it's the first time that they have had a bit of privacy since their arrival, the team do not complain. Once left alone, Jyn sighs, looking at the door with envy.

"If only we could be part of it..."

"Yes, sighs Cassian. But for now, they need analysts and pilots, not who we are. We will have our chance later if they shoot it down."

"I didn't even think I would have another chance", Jyn confesses. "But having it and not being able to do anything is awful."

"The same. I thought my life was a small price for what I did, not end up on a hospital bed powerless."

"What we'll be doing next? If they destroy the Death Star?"

Nobody answers. All of them think about the future they've never envisioned. Secretly, they all want the same thing, but none of them dares to say it first. The others could have different thoughts. Jyn starts first. After all, she has nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

"I can't ... I don't want to be what I used to be. I will no longer hide from the reality of the galaxy's state. I want to participate, one way or another."

"Me too", approves Chirrut, "I think I'm going to stay. There are ... interesting people here."  
Her smile is radiant, and his excitement palpable. Baze immediately suspects him of something.

"I'm staying too," he said, throwing inquisitive glances at his companion. "The Empire has to pay. I'm ready to help with this."

Cassian shouldn't have been so relieved that they were staying, but he was.  
"We'll have to see what Bodhi and R2 say about it. Personally, I'd like to keep Rogue One alive. Despite the circumstances... we can make a good team."

There'll be obstacles, they all know that. Maybe some of them won't recover enough from their injuries to go back to the fighting. Perhaps they won't get the prosthesis they need for their lost limbs. The Alliance may not have the resources to provide it or a ship to give to the team. The Alliance can decide one or all of them is too unstable to give them responsibilities. Or they'll all die in a few hours, pulverized by the Death Star.

"I will speak with the Alliance command. We'll have to make concessions. Draven won't want to lose me. I'm one of his best elements, and there are two or three operations in progress which could be compromised if my face became public."

"Do what you have to", answer Jyn. "I stayed as far away from the rebellion and the Empire as possible, but I still have contacts that I can offer to the Alliance. Smugglers, unscrupulous imperial officers ... I even have my entries with a Moff with one of my identities."

"I have contacts in the underworld", adds Baze. "Some could be willing to sell their knowledge of the empire and its covert operations for a good price."

"Even Bodhi must have some knowledge of the Empire to offer in exchange of your liberty", adds Jyn. Then she frowns. "I know we have enough information to put on the table to negotiate, but I'm afraid for him. His mental state..."

Everyone turns to Bodhi, their excitement all but forgotten. The man is still unconscious in his bacta tank, but he looks better. More alive. 

"You know what they did to him. It bothers you."

Chirrut's assertion makes Jyn sick. She hesitates then begins to speak.

"I grew up with Saw. He was a tough man who made me a tough woman. He believed that the only way to beat the Empire was to be worse than the Empire. For a long time, I agreed. Today, I don't know anymore. What kind of answer would he have against the Death Star? What kind of violence? Anyway, over the years he has allied himself with all sorts of unsavoury individuals. The Bor Gullet was one. I never really knew what it was, but I saw it do its thing once. I saw its victims. He violates their thoughts until he has seen all their memories, and he leaves behind only fragmented minds. His disappearance is the only good thing to take from the loss of Jedha. Bodhi was lucky to come out with part of his mind still intact."

"We met Saw once. He wanted to hire Jedhans to work with his partisans. He wanted Baze and was ready to deal with a crippled monk if it was the deal. He was the kind of man who found utility in everyone he encountered. A very unpleasant man."

"Yes. Leaving me behind was his only gift to me. I only see that now. But I was a child, I saw my mother die and my father disappear. I wanted him to be proud of me. I was ready to become like him. When he left me, it nearly destroyed me."

Her throat is dry. She had never spoken of her past to anyone before. She feels naked. She never considered sharing all of this. Her companions understand her emotion and look away to give her time to recover. Chirrut begins to meditate, whispering softly. Baze gets up and stumbles out of the room. He is glad to have recovered some sort of freedom of movement. Cassian, touched by Jyn's confession, thinks it's his time to talk.

"I've never known anything but the war. In my oldest memory, my family and I participated in a manifestation against the Republic. It was during the Clone Wars. I remember my father carrying me on the shoulders and the soldiers' retaliation. I was six when I first used a gun. I know nothing but war and guerrilla warfare. War and the Empire have made us who we are, whether of our own free will or against our will."

A few days earlier, Jyn would have taken this speech for an insult or a remonstrance. Now she sees that it's some kind of confession. She hears the regret in his voice. She smiles gently at Cassian. Their beds are close enough for her to move with minimal difficulty and pain from one to the other. She hugs Cassian, being careful of her injuries. He spreads an arm to help her curl up against him.

They don't really know how they feel about each other. They just know they feel better that way. As for the rest, by tacit agreement, they are ready to wait until they leave the infirmary to talk about it. They want to have time. The Death Star is near, but they don't want to go too fast, to regret it later. They want to be sure, and if they're right to think there's something between them, they want it to be strong and forever. For now, they happy to just smile and cuddle. The mantra of Chirrut helps them to fall asleep.

The monk smiles. It's good to feel them being so calm. He did not hear half of their conversation for his hearing is getting better, but not that much. He suddenly yearns for his carefree youth. Poor young people. They can't understand what carefree means. He suddenly feels old and not just because his bones remind him of his age. No, it is the loss of Jedha, its people, its traditions that makes him feel so tired. But his youth, Jedha, Baze's facial features, all this is in the past. He refuses to dwell on it. He prefers to think of the radiant future he felt in a young man who was still carefree. This one will walk in the sky and in the Force. Chirrut has always had confidence in the Force, but he never felt closer to it than in the presence of this boy. He knows there is a new hope growing in the entire galaxy. The thought soothes him, and he falls asleep. 

"Unbelievable. You risk your life for humans, and what do they do? They just sleep when other humans nearly put you on the dump. Remind me to let you all die next time."  
The whiny, metallic voice of K2-SO wakes up the three injured. They sit up to watch Baze and a mechanic put the droid on a shelf. He doesn't have arms or legs, but Baze grabs him firmly by the shoulder.

"The medical team who rescued us told the base mechanics to go get K2 in their shuttle. These fools did it but found it off. They decided that the best thing to do was to throw it directly in a corner to recover the components later."

Cassian's blood freezes in his veins. He straightens up and screams, not caring about the pain in his chest.

"What?"  
"What did you want us to do?", says the mechanic. "Look at it, it's a wreck. Its databases have been affected, it can no longer function properly. We can't afford..."

"What? To save the droid responsible for transmitting the Death Star plans to Princess Organa? Or to save a prominent member of the Alliance's secret services? Certainly, the Alliance can't afford it."

Jyn's icy irony terrifies the man who stammers an apology just as K2 speaks.

"We didn't know that …"

"I did that?"

Taking advantage of the stunned silence, the technician begins to justify himself again.  
"I told you that it's data were damaged. And it's not like we've got plenty of imperial droids' parts."

"Can I kill him Cassian?"

"I'm tented to say yes, but no. You, get out before I change my mind. And pray not to end up on the same planet as K2 the day he has arms again."

"Jyn gave me a gun", the droid proudly says.

The technician doesn't wait for more. When Baze releases him, he rushes out of the room. To give Cassian time to regain control of his emotions, he explains what happened.

-I needed to get out. Everyone is busy because of the alert, so the nurses couldn't stop me. I asked a few of them. I believe them when they say they obeyed you and went to ask where K2 was. But the technicians told them they had no idea."

Cassian swears in three different languages. Jyn's hand on his arm calms him, even though he sees the same cold anger in her eyes.

"K2? What do you remember?"

"Jyn gave me a weapon", answers K2, starting with what seems most important to him. "I was shot."

"Where?"  
"Corellia."  
They were on Corellia for a mission six months ago. Cassian's heart sinks, but he has to keep asking.  
"How did you get out of the tower?"

"Tower?"  
They all take turns telling him about the mission. K2 remembers details but is confused about the events' order. At one point in the conversation, he forgets what was said in the beginning. What he remembers is sometimes strange. He remembers very well the insults exchanged with Jyn or Cassian's survival rate at each critical moment of the mission. However, he forgot almost everything about his own participation.

"It's unfair", he ends up whining. "Why are droids always the most injured in a mission?"

"I hope you're joking !" Protests Jyn. "If it's a contest, we all won."

"We'll fix you Kay, but it'll take time", adds Cassian to calm him down. "You will have to find another body and transfer your data, and I hope the transfer doesn't damage your personality. It will be hard since I've only a vague idea of what I did when coding it."

"What do you mean?"

"Its reprogramming code is absolutely disgusting", explains K2.

"In my discharge, I had lost two litres of blood, you shot me almost at close range, I was knocked out by the cocktail of drugs that I had injected to endure the pain, and there were two tons stones that could fall on us at any time. I've not forgotten anything?"

"Dark Vador was going to disembark from one moment to the next to question you, you had to leave the planet before he arrived."

"No, that was the next mission."

"Interesting times", laughs Chirrut.

"The company was more pleasant", retorts K2.

"Kay! That's enough. And I imagine that everyone here has lived more than their share of bad encounters with the Empire."

Chirrut laughs.

"Well, there was this time..."

"No", protests Baze. "Not that one. We don't talk about it anymore."

"As long as I can still tell the story with master Jyn and padawan Kenobi in the kybers crystal caves, I imagine I can give up the epic tale of Baze Malbus and the imperial collector in the sewers of Jedha."

Everyone star asking for details much to Chirrut's delight when they hear an alarm rings in the distance. The sound is muffled, but the message is clear. The Death Star is coming.

They immediately lost all desire to joke. Ten minutes pass, then the alarm stops. Cassian knows what that means; Rebellion pilots have left to fight. Jyn is livid. The alarm was too loud, her comrades' voices are too loud. It hurt her head and gave her a terrible headache. It's hard but she manages to ignore it. She's terrorized, so it's easy to ignore her pain.

They're trapped. They can't flee, and they wouldn't. They fled the Death Star twice, leaving behind death and destruction. This time, they will die with the others if they cannot fight. But it is hard for them to stand there, wounded and disarmed while others are fighting. It is their fight, and they are helpless.

Every second, they wonder why they are still alive. They expect to feel the earth shake and fragment. Soon, they may just be debris in space. Stardust.

"I'm glad he's still sleeping", Jyn whispers, looking at Bodhi. "I would prefer not to have woken up."

"No, I prefer this way of dying", sighs Chirrut, shaking Baze's hand. "It is better to be surrounded by your loved ones and to be able to speak to them than to go alone surrounded by the smell of ash and metal."

Baze swears. His hand itches to want to hold a gun. Cassian mentally sees the wall of debris threatening to engulf them and prays that death is instantaneous. He does not want to see the others' agony.

Through the loudspeakers, a voice say: "Five minutes before the Death Star is within range. May the Force be with our pilots, and with us. "

Five minutes of fear and dread. Every minute is endless and too short at the same time. Rogue One stands there in silence. Their breath is short, their throats are dry. They count every second, and when the time is almost up, Chirrut's voice rises, serene.

"I am one with the Force. The Force is with me."

First hesitant, then more firmly, Jyn's voice joins his, then it's Cassian's hoarse voice. Finally, Baze sighs and joins his voice to theirs in perfect harmony.

"I am one with the Force. The Force is with me."

Then, the five minutes are over. They're still alive but they can't give in to hope so they continue to pray. Maybe they won. Perhaps the Death Star takes its time to torture them more before killing them.

"I am one with the Force. The Force is with me."

They only stop when the loudspeaker turns on again. Leia Organa yells "They did it! Luke Skywalker destroyed it!" and an explosion of joy echoes throughout the infirmary. They are first stunned, then serene. They lived to see their task fulfilled.

Jyn looks up and laughs. The sound surprises herself. She hasn't laughed sincerely since she was a child. Cassian laughs and cries at the same time. He can't stop. Jyn straightens up and kisses him lightly.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm happy to be alive. I'm happy to be with you. Today, I don't want to ask myself more questions."

He gives her kiss back then bursts out laughing. K2, which has so far been strangely silent, chooses that moment to turn on again.

"If I believe the excessive demonstrations, I imagine that we all survived?"

"Didn't you realize?"

"I preferred to die. I prefer to not realized I was dying, so I turned off."

For his part, Baze whispers a thank you to the Force. Chirrut gasps in amazement and kisses him.

"I always knew you would come back to us."

Baze grumbles. He will explain to his lover later that believing again does not change anything, that he will always have his doubts and his resentments towards the Force, that he will never be that young monk again. Of course, Chirrut already knows that.

The door opens. Their zabrak medic enters, his cheeks red and a bright smile displayed on his face.

"Everyone okay here? Sorry to have abandoned you a bit in the last few hours. We'll receive the surviving pilots in a few minutes. We've been informed of some seriously injured people, we'll probably be busy for a part of the night, then we'll come back to you and put you in the bacta tank another time, if we have any left. Unless there are problems to deal with immediately?"

They're fine and they say so. Their condition does not require urgent attention. Relieved, the zabrak rushes back to help receive the first wounded. He leaves the door open and Rogue One can see the pilots' return, skinned, burned, but happy. They seem to find more relevant to describe to the medics their experience of the battle than the severity of their injuries. The arrival of Luke Skywalker, sent by force to be examined by Princess Leia, is greeted with applause.

Bodhi wakes up to cries of joy. His back hurt. So does his hands but he doesn't panic. That explosion of joy tells him that he's not in the hands of the Empire. His friends are there near him, smiling at him. He didn't know they could do that. He doesn't know if he can.  
"Hey Bodhi", Jyn's lying in a bed against Cassian which is unexpected. "We did it."

Bodhi bursts into tears. He succeeded. Is that enough to redeem his actions in the Empire's service?

"We did it", he managed to say. "Galen would be proud."

Bodhi realizes that he is also smiling through his tears and he raises his hands to wipe them away. His left hand is covered with bandages. The right is gone.

Bodhi screams.

Baze and Jyn rush to hold him, but he struggles with a force they didn't know he had.

"It's going to be okay Bodhi", Jyn tries to comfort him. "We'll have a new hand made for you, I promise. 

He doesn't even hear her.

"I can't be a pilot if I can't drive", he explains between two sobs. "I am the pilot. I am the pilot."

Tears in her eyes, Jyn holds him until the arrival of a nurse armed with a syringe of sedative.

It's the sixth day since Scariff, and they don't have a tenth of yesterday's enthusiasm. Bodhi is very quiet. His eyes constantly go from his companions to his hand. It's easy to tell that Jyn and Baze have not slept. Jyn couldn't sleep because of the ubiquitous noise coming from the medical bay. Too many people coming and leaving. Baze fought all night against his crisis of faith. Cassian is not much better. He worries too much about the future to sleep or rejoice about their victory. He realizes that he hasn't changed. He remains too obsessed with the final victory to dwell on yesterday's winnings. The only difference is that the survival of Rogue One is now also at the centre of his thoughts.

The arrival of Doctor Nankusa and three nurses successfully distract them from their dark thoughts. The doctor focuses on Bodhi, gradually reassuring him with her whispers. The Zabrak medic takes care of Jyn.

"It will take another short bath of bacteria to repair your muscle tear in the foot. Luckily, you didn't make the situation much worse by getting up last night. Your dislocated shoulder is getting there, but I'm worried about your headaches. Is there any other problem?"

Jyn hesitates. She's not used to showing weakness. Where she grew up, giving the impression of being weak was a bad thing. It will take time before she's truly comfortable to confide in friends or a doctor.

"It feels like there's always too much noise and light. Sometimes I feel like even my hairs make too much noise, and I feel nauseous if I move too suddenly."

"It must be the result of your head trauma. I'm not going to lie to you, there's nothing we can do about it, except hope it disappears someday. It can last three months, a year ... or stop tomorrow. I imagine that we can add that to the long list of health problems related to your little trip on Scarif. It's starting to get long. When I see you and the other, the difference is impressive."

"What do you mean?"

"Princess Organa, Skywalker, Solo and the Wookie? Well, the princess was torture by Vader before it began, but if we forget that, they've got a total of six bumps, two slight blast shots' burns and three scratched skinned legs."

Six incredulous grunts acknowledge him.

"The Force was with them", notes Chirrut with just a little annoyance in his voice.

"And their droids?" K2 asks.

"The protocolar droid is doing well. The astromecano will have to undergo repairs, but it should recover entirely."

"It is unfair. They should at least have lost a few arms and legs too."

"K2!"

"What, you don't agree with me?"

Nobody dares to answer him. Yes, they all think that there is some form of injustice there. The Force must have its favourites, but it's not something they'll say out loud for fear of looking silly or jealous.

Finally, the doctors leave, leaving them to rest. They'll be allowed one bacta bath in the afternoon, but it will be the last. And after that, they'll have to think about prostheses. But the Rebellion can't afford to help them anymore. Yavin IV's medical supplies are running low, and it is mostly their fault. Before she leaves, Doctor Nankusa leans over Cassian and give him a final recommendation.  
"Your pilot friend will recover physically, but his mind's state worries me. He seems to be recovering from his torture, and Jyn Erso explained to me what happened. If you can, make him talk about his injuries, how he got them. It would help him to accept what's happened to him."

He nods and watches her go. When they're alone, he turns to Bodhi's bed. It's probably better to be direct, but Cassian will let him have the choice to stay silent, at least for now. It's not an interrogation. Bodhi's not a prisoner. 

"So Bodhi, what happened after we left? I'm impressed that you managed to fly the ship with these injuries."

Bodhi looks down, ashamed. He remembers. Someone fired a grenade into the ship. He jumped on it and sent it away, then threw himself on the ground. He put his hands on his neck to protect hit from the shrapnel. He felt the explosion. It was awful, the pain on his back. His hand burned. He thought it was too close, that there would be damage in the engine. He did not take care of his injuries, it was more important to find and save his partners. He almost killed them all. It was nearly not enough. 

"I did what I could", he ends up saying, still fixing the ground.

It will take him two more months to tell this story to his friends. When he will hear Jyn laugh, muttering his name with despair and amusement, only then he'll understand he's a hero. 

But for now, his companions are not insisting. Bodhi can see that they are treating him like something fragile. Truly, he feels like his mind could break at any time, but it hurts him to be treated like this. He would like to be strong like them. They seem to ignore the pain easily, and Bodhi finds it's so hard to accept what he's lost. His mind, his family, his city... It's so hard. It's almost a relief for Bodhi to be led into the bacta tank.

The bacta does wonders for all of them. It feels good to not feel pain for a few hours, and they doze for the duration of the treatment. The few times they open their eyes, they can watch the busy medical team packing the material.

Before the Death Star's fall, the Rebel Alliance could not afford to lose the few ships they didn't lose above Scarif in a second space battle, even to evacuate some of the base personnel. Now, it's urgent to leave, in case Tarkin has transmitted his position to the rest of the imperial troops. 

Cassian thinks he probably didn't. Tarkin was the kind of man who kept all his operation's detail to himself until the end. That way, he could have all the credits of its success. Still, it's the Empire. No precautions are superfluous.

Before the departure, a thank-you ceremony is held for the heroes who helped destroy the Death Star. Baze and Jyn are the only members of Rogue One who can go, but they decline.  
"My father helped to destroy this horror. But the daughter of its designers can't stand next to the last of the Organa. It would be bad taste". 

Cassian does not agree with Jyn but respects her decision. As for Baze, he categorically refuses to go to the ceremony and refuses to explain himself. They all understand it is linked to his crisis of faith, and because Chirrut can't go. The leaders of the Alliance do not insist. They have four heroes to show off, radiant with youth and good health.

As soon as the ceremony's end, everyone leaves as far as they could. Dozens of vessels of all sizes take off. Rogue One is more thrown than led to a medical vessel. In two hours, there is no trace of the Rebellion on Yavin IV, apart from the lack of dust inside the old buildings and some recently cleared clearings that served as landing strips. Off they go, to a new base. 

The first five days after Scarif were very long for Rogue One, because of how much pain they felt and because how anxious they were about the Death Star's plans. In comparisons, time flies like an arrow on the following weeks. To be fair, nothing happens in the infirmary, and they are more and more impatient to leave each day. Outside, on the contrary, everyone seems to be requisitioned for an urgent and dangerous mission. In the infirmary, people come and go with a story to tell about a chase with Darth Vader, the interception of a prisoners' convoy or the rescue of other rebels. They treat Rogue One as heroes, but not with this deferential camaraderie that people adopt towards Skywalker. No, they look at their wounds and treat them as invalids who will never again serve the Rebellion. Chirrut is the only one having fun. He doesn't see a difference from the way people usually act towards him. 

Jyn takes it very badly. Of them all, she is the first to be physically on her feet. Unfortunately, as soon as she starts training to recover her lost stamina, she is beset with headaches and nausea. Her hyperacusis often forces her to take refuge in the infirmary where she is busy helping Cassian and K2 to analyze the latter's programming for the day when they find him a spare body.

After three weeks of complete immobilization, the Rebellian finds the resources to give Cassian a knee prosthesis. He must undergo two weeks of laborious rehabilitation before he finally receives permission to get up. He nearly runs out of the infirmary on his crutches to beg Mon Mothma and Leia Organa to find him something to do, even archiving data. He didn't know that inaction made him so nervous. He must do something, anything, because if he's not too tired to think, his mind goes back and forth about the worst acts he has committed in the service of the Alliance all night, and he vomits in the nearest toilet, supported by Jyn who have insomnias too. Fortunately, Mothma and Organa understand. The second takes him in her analysts' team. It's good because Cassian doesn't need to go to general Draven to request his leave. Two days later, Jyn settles down next to him to help him, without asking anyone's permission. No one protest.  
Bodhi is the second to benefit from a prosthesis and contemplates with relief his new hand for hours. He gets up slowly every day to avoid the dizziness that sometimes grips him, walks and stretches several times a day. If he tries to do too much, the doctors threaten him, he risks tearing a muscle or reopening the wounds on his back. He was very close to never walk again without assistance. The doctors are surprised to see him follow their orders without complaining. But it's simple for him. Bodhi wants to fly back one day. He will not risk destroying his dream because he was in too much of a hurry. Chirrut tells anyone who wants to hear that Bodhi has the patience of a Jedi. Baze replies that they have to meet the same Jedi. Finally, he obtains the authorization to venture to the side of the hangar where the resistance pilots met. He's welcomed with open arms, to his surprise. They almost quarrel to obtain the privilege to help him repair a ship to train his new hand to do challenging tasks.

The two former monks are far from showing the same patience as Bodhi and the medical team despairs. They decided they'll be on their feet as soon as possible and ignore all advice to take things slow. The nurses are struggling to hide everything that can be used as a cane for Chirrut before his operation, but he always finds something to do the trick. As soon as he finally got his leg, things get worse. He leaves the infirmary all the time looking for specific places to meditate or to search for Luke Skywalker and talk for hours with him. Therefore, the doctors cant prevent Baze from chasing after him, even if he still limps slightly and the doctors would like to see them in bed for a few more days.

Weeks after weeks, their condition improves, except for K2. His memory  
deteriorates more and more, to the point that he eventually chooses to shut down until his companions find him an adequate body.

The five humans escape from the infirmary all the time, with or without an agreement, but they return every night. They want to get a good health report as soon as possible, and they have to prove to the exhausted doctors that they're getting better. They let them redo the bandages, check the healing of their wounds and their bones. They also talk to each other. It's difficult at first, but it gets easier. Jyn tells them of her mother's death and ends up in Cassian's arms, shaking. Bodhi talks about his quiet childhood on Jedha, his commitment and his disillusionment with the Empire and how he desperately wanted to quit when he saw the truth. Cassian admits that he was not even nineteen the first and only time he considered suicide before giving up and resting his blaster on his lap. Not because he was afraid, but because he thought it was selfish to kill himself to forget his suffering and shame while there was so much to do to restore freedom in the galaxy. Baze talks about the anguish that gripped him when he returned from a pilgrimage to the other side of the planet to discover that the temple was destroyed and that Chirrut had been taken by the Empire for refusing to comply. He talks about the horror that gripped him when he infiltrated the prison and discovered the man he desperately loved, half-naked and half-dead, and blind. Chirrut, only talks about the past if he can evoke joyful moments, their first kiss in the rain, the beauty of kyber crystals. Other times, he tells them about the future, the Force and Skywalker.  
They really get to know each other. They know what makes them happy, what makes them sad. They know what topics can be discussed and when. They learn to deal with Chirrut's humour, Baze's snoring and grunting, Bodhi's nervous laughter, Jyn's fit of anger and Cassian's silence. They learn to stop worrying about each other and to form a family.

Of course, they still suffer from what they have endured. Sometimes they wake up sweating, hearing explosions or blaster shots that exist only in their heads. They close their eyes, and they can feel the sand of Scarif under their feet and taste blood in their mouths. They know that they will never get over it, that they will always feel like they live on borrowed time because they should have died on Scarif's beaches.

And finally comes the evening when Mon Mothma invites herself in their room in the infirmary. She smiles and tells them that the Rebel Alliance has a mission for Rogue One. And that night, they're ready. They know what to do next: they'll turn their unexpected survival into something great. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of my fic's translation. Maybe I'll write a sequel someday. Reviews are welcomed anyway !


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